New Year's Resolutions

When I make New Year's Resolutions, I really make New Year's Resolutions.

I hate when I fail to fulfill them.  Makes me feel like a quitter.  And who wants to feel like a quitter??

Knowing this about myself, I am extremely careful about the resolutions I make.  They have to make me grow and stretch and become a better person; but they also have to be realistic and attainable.  It takes me a few weeks post-holidays to really figure out what I want to work on each year.

This year, because we are starting over in a new place and I know that I won't feel settled in and "home" for at least 6 months, I making my 2012 resolutions simple.

Here they are:
1. Go on a date with my fantastic husband, Dr. C, at least once a month
2. Only use the computer when my children are asleep or at school
3. Have personal scripture study everyday
4. Invite someone to my house for dinner at least once a month
5. Exercise 5+ days a week (was doing great at this until my awful half-marathon, time to get back on track)

These may not stretch me as much as some of my past New Year's Resolutions have--and some of these things I used to be fabulous at, but have slowly slipped and now it's time to fix it.

Here's hoping that at the end of 2012, I won't have been a quitter.

Earning the Goggles.

*FYI, this is a shameless brag-post.  Have a great day!

Not only were we meant for the beach, but since moving to The South, we are also meant for the pool.

Last summer, my poor, swimming-daily children thought they were being deprived because they only had noodles and kick-boards (Oh, the injustice of only having 2 pieces of swim gear!!)--and that they NEEDED goggles.  (Please note the sarcasm). 

I postponed that desire for the whole summer last year (I want them to learn how to swim without wearing anything extra--no goggles, no floaties, no nose plugs, etc.) but I knew I couldn't hold them off for one more complete summer.  

Being the hard-nosed mom that I am, I told them that if they wanted goggles, they had to earn them by jumping into the deep-end and swimming across all by themselves.  T-Man was doing this last year, no problem, so after quickly warming back up to the water after 9 months off, he earned his goggles on Swimming Lesson Day 2.

Front crawl



Back Float



Goggles Earned.

Fearless was another story.  Last year, he had a scary experience that involved him slipping into the deep end, some quick swimming by my SweatSister (who is also the best swim teacher on the planet), and a blessed escape from a watery end.

So this year, he was pretty leery of that deep water.  Not that I blame him.

We spent some time in the shallow water where he was a little fish--swimming, flipping, jumping in without hesitation.

But still, no goggles.

Until we reached Swimming Lesson Day 7.  My SweatSister had to rearrange the lessons a bit, and Fearless ended up having private lessons.  I guess that one-on-one time was just what he needed, because on that day, my little man made the jump, the swim, and earned the goggles.

You can't see his face really well here, but right before he jumped, he had that Eye-of-the-Tiger-conquer-or-bust look going on.

Almost there!!

Made it!!

He's pretty proud of those goggles, as he should be.  I must admit, at the beginning of the summer, I was worried he might not make it...but I shouldn't have doubted.

The kid really is fearless...or at least he conquers all his fears.  Which is probably better after all.

And Miss B?

This girl was made for the water. 



As soon as we get to the pool, she heads down the steps and makes herself comfortable.  She will jump in, standing up, from the side while only holding onto one of my hands, and she can swim, underwater, for about 4 feet--no goggles, no floaties, no kickboards, no noodles--just my little two-year-old Miss B.

Sorry, no pictures of her swimming because it's kind of hard to take pictures AND try to keep her from doing something drastic.  Because this chick has no issues with the deep end and is known to run like mad mosey on down there, climb down the ladder, and hang out with the big kids if I turn my head for a second.  I wouldn't be surprised if I'm writing a post about Miss B earning the goggles next summer. 

Check that one off the bucket list.

We did it!!!

We ran 26.2 miles on Saturday morning.  A full marathon.

It was AWESOME.

 

Here we are before the race--we are smiling in the picture, but really I was pretty nervous I thought I just might throw up.  Thankfully, I didn't.

Our families were there to cheer us on around mile marker 21...my hardest miles were 18, 19, and 20--so it really helped to have Dr. C, T-Man, Fearless, and Miss B there cheering for me.  After that, I felt great and the last 5.2 miles were a breeze. 

Dr. C got some more pictures of us as we came around the bend to the finish line.  What an amazing feeling!  My SweatSister said she heard somewhere that only 1-2% of the population are marathon runners...and now we are part of that group. 

Holla!

Things I lost during the training and marathon:

• 28 lbs.
• 5 toenails (3 during training, 2 during the race)
• My keys (which were eventually found)
• Lots of hours of sleep
• A few water bottles
• Half my wardrobe because it was too big (YAY!!)

Things I gained during the training and marathon:

• My amazing SweatSister who is a great friend and let me convince her to 1) run at 5:15AM five days a week; 2) run a marathon; and 3) is willing to consider a Triathlon next (but no more full marathons)
• A healthy respect for my feet
• An intimate knowledge of the streets of The Village where I live
• Lots of running clothes--there are probably more running clothes in my closet than regular clothes
• Lots of water bottles
• Greater respect for Dr. C, who trained for and ran a marathon while working on his PhD
• The desire to run another marathon sometime soon!

Two Encounters

A few weeks ago, I had two encounters--a day apart from each other--that made me stop and think.

Encounter #1--I went by myself to a new fabric shop here in The Village for the first time.  The lady that runs the shop was extra chatty...and to make a long story short, she mentioned something about working on quilts when she spent a long time in the hospital while her informally-adopted son was sick with brain cancer and then he passed away.  I said something about knowing about hospitals because my daughter had had a congenital heart defect.  She then asked if that had stunted Miss B's growth.  And I told her that yes, she is little, but she has Down syndrome, so who knows if she is little from that or from the heart defect or the combination of the two?

As soon as I mentioned "Down syndrome" the lady, who had been pleasant (pushy, but pleasant) made a face...like the "I just smelled something really stinky" face.  Then she went on to say that she has "a r*tarded brother"--and she said "r*tarded" in the slang way, not the medical way--"who only has the brain function of a four year old...And how when he was born, the doctors didn't think he could live so they just left him in the incubator pushed to the side to die...but he didn't die...And how he rides horses and does the contests where they jump over fences and bushes and such...and how everyone says how great he is doing at it and what a wonderful rider he is...when really it's just a great horse and her brother can't really do anything..."

Every sentence was full of disgust and irritation and...embarrassment maybe?  I'm not entirely sure.  But not positive AT ALL.  She went from being chatty to venting...and then after she vented about her brother, she couldn't get rid of me fast enough.  It was eerie and unsettling and offensive...I mean really, didn't I just tell her my daughter has Down syndrome?  Did she expect me to wallow in her intolerance with her?  I know that life can be hard on siblings of kids with special needs--that is something I worry about with T-Man and Fearless--but I certainly hope that in our family, Miss B brings out more tolerance and patience and love in all of us...not bitterness. 

Which brings me to Encounter #2--I went to another fabric place--a furniture factory warehouse where you can get upholstery fabric for $4/yard and under (LOVE that place!).  As I pulled into the parking lot, I noticed a truck that had the same Down Syndrome Awareness specialty license plates that we have on our van.  I got excited because I VERY rarely see other people with Down syndrome...just a handful of times in the past two years...so I figured I'd have to walk in with my radar on ultra high, just so I wouldn't miss them.  As I was unloading Miss B and Fearless from the van, an older typical man walked out, alone, and headed to the truck.  I was disappointed that I still would not be seeing anyone with Ds, but either way I didn't want to pass on the opportunity to speak to someone else in The Club.

So I said hello and pointed out that we had the same specialty plates...and instantly, I went from strange-lady-in-the-parking-lot to a close friend.  The man had an 8-year-old granddaughter with Ds and he told me all about how she was just wonderful.  And he wanted to meet Miss B and hold her and talk about any health issues she'd had and tell me about his granddaughter's health issues and on and on.  He ooohed and aahhed over Miss B just like she was his own granddaughter. We stood there talking for 15 minutes in the hot, humid Southern summer...simply because we both loved someone with some extra genetic material.  When the conversation ended, I was on cloud nine.

I've been rolling these two encounters around in my brain...trying to figure out the difference in reactions.  What happened in the first lady's family that caused her to be so bitter?  What about the Grandpa made him so loving of not only his own granddaughter, but even toward my daughter--whom he had never even seen before?  Is it just different personalities?  What do I do to encourage T-Man and Fearless turn out more like the Grandpa and less like the fabric shop lady?  Why do some families embrace and encourage their family members with special needs while other families splinter because of it? 

I don't have any of the answers to those questions...but the stark contrast between the two encounters has deepened my resolve to do whatever I can to foster good relationships between my all of my children.  To teach them all to respect each other and support each other.  I know it can be done.

Oh, how I hope we are on the road to that place!

Confidence Restored!

On Saturday, my SweatSister and I did our longest run yet--21 miles.  After our horrible 20-miler a few weeks ago, I was a little bit worried that we would flop again.

But it was fabulous!

We were tired and sore afterward--but we did it!!  We ran the whole thing.  Yay!

Now we know that know we can do 21--I am confident that we will be able to run the whole 26.2 miles of our marathon.  We have one more long run left--a 22-miler, then the rest of our runs are only 14 miles or less.

Seven more weeks until the big day!!  I can't wait!

Hitting The Wall

From Running Planet:

"The wall is a somewhat intimidating term that is commonly used to describe the devastating feelings of fatigue and sometimes confusion that can occur in the final miles of a marathon. The wall is hard to describe to a non runner. It’s something that you need to experience to really understand. Jerome Drayton, winner of the 81st Boston Marathon, said it best: “To describe the agony of a marathon to someone who’s never run it is like trying to explain color to someone who was born blind.”

I hit the wall this week.

Saturday, my SweatSister and I were up for doing a long run in our marathon training--20 Miles.

Last week, we did 18, and I was tired and sore afterwards, but it was a good run and by the end of the day, I was feeling good.

This week...not so much.  Originally, we had planned to have this week be a short recovery week with next week being the long run.  But my SweatSister's hubby was going to be out of town so on Thursday we decided to move the long run up a week to Saturday so we could run together.

I think I must have gotten a little over-confident after our good 18 miler, so I didn't mentally prepare for 20 miles.  And I didn't eat well.  Or drink well.  Or sleep well.

So pretty much I just assumed I could just hop out of bed and run 20 miles...no big deal.

HA! 

The first 10 miles were fairly uneventful (except for the big dogs that wanted to chase us.)

I did okay for miles 11, 12, 13.

But by mile 14, I starting to feel pretty crummy.  Our pace started to slow...and slowed...and slowed till we trudged into our water stop at mile 15.

All confidence went out the window.  All desire to keep running was also out the window.  Negative thoughts crept in: Why the heck was I out running 20 miles in 100+ degrees in the South on a Saturday morning?!?  THIS IS CRAZY!!!

We limped along through miles 16 and 17.

One foot.  Other foot.  One foot.  Other foot.

At this point, I was not quite coherent and I honestly couldn't even think "left foot, right foot".  It was more like "move that thing that feels like lead and then move that other one."  My vision starting getting spotty and my hearing would come and go.

By mile 18, we did something I swore we wouldn't do.  We broke my number one long-distance running rule.

We walked.   (Oh the shame!!!)

And once that mental resolve was broken, we walked again.  And again.  And again.  Until we were running short spurts and walking longer distances.  In the end, we probably ended up walking a whole mile.  Ugh.

Side Note:  Any non-runners out there probably won't understand this perspective.  But to me, walking during a run is  a sign of weakness. A failure.  I can walk through water stations and of course take short breaks at designated stops, but to walk in between the predetermined distances just because I am feeling tired, is unacceptable. Please note that this is not a judgement on anyone else's exercise style or ability...there are lots of very good reasons for people to walk.  This is simply my personal standard for MYSELF.  Nothing more, nothing less.  For me, if I don't set this high of a standard for myself, I would walk ALL THE TIME and then never reach my goal of RUNNING a marathon.

It was miserable.  And disappointing.  And definitely put a damper on my enthusiasm for being able to run the 26.2 miles of our upcoming marathon.

We finally finished--stopping a little bit earlier than we usually do.  We were exhausted.  We were beaten.

We were humbled.

Lessons learned:

• Dehydration is not fun.  Make sure to drink plenty of water the day before.  (Duh.  I KNOW this, but chose not to follow it.  Not the brightest decision of my life.)
• Eat a good carbohydrate meal the night before.  Eating only a small ham sandwich on a white roll, 3 slices of cucumber, and a couple of pieces of broccoli at a party the night before a long run is a BAD, BAD idea.
• Stay humble.  Remember that I'm not hot stuff.  Even though I've been training consistently, I still have a lot to learn and a long way to go.  Maintaining a healthy respect for the long runs will make me mentally prepare better for the long haul so that I don't break my no-walking rule.  It will also force me to make sure I take care of myself physically so that I don't literally collapse from exhaustion and dehydration.

Now that I know what it feels like to "hit the wall", I am determined to avoid it as much as possible.  In 3 weeks we have a 21-mile run that will hopefully go much, much better than the 20-miler.  Wish us luck!

Miss Banana's First Birthday!

We are currently experiencing technical difficulties--so the pictures will have to wait until after I pay a computer guru oodles amounts of money to tell me why my computer keeps crashing everytime I try to get my pictures off my camera...or whenever my computer has been on for awhile...or whenever I try to open a file...UGH--technology can be SO frustrating!  (And yes, I have Symantec's security system--and according to it, I do not have virus...I've also run different checks for spyware and adware...but my computer crashes before it finishes the scans.  Nice.)

Anywho, before I grovel at the feet of the computer gurus and ask them to fix my lifeline computer, I wanted to make a post about Miss B's birthday.  I made a montage of her first year with all of her birthday pictures in it--I will post it as soon as I can.

Last week, Miss B turned one!!

I can't believe it has already been one year...I know that is cliche...but a year ago I didn't know if she would make it one day, one month, one year.  This is a major milestone!!  When I look back at the person I was before we got Miss B's diagnosis, I am ashamed about how small-minded I was.  And not that I am perfect now, but I know that she has opened my eyes to how miraculous life is and how much joy there is in everyday life.  And that all the little wonders in life should not be taken for granted. 

I didn't know how much I needed her!

Miss B brings joy with her wherever she goes--I know I've said it before, but she just radiates light--and you just can't help but feel happy around her.  There really is something magical about that extra chromosome...I don't know how to explain it.  It just is.

Oh, how I love my Miss Banana!!!

Here are some of the things Miss B is doing at one year:

• Sitting independently
• Can go from tummy to sit, and back down to tummy independently
• Gets on hands and knees and rocks back and forth (she is SO SO close to crawling!)
• Can roll, army crawl, etc to get herself to pretty much anywhere she wants to go
• Can feed herself
• Eats soft table food
• Can drink fabulously from her Honey Bear
• Uses a perfect pincer grasp--aka pick things up between her thumb and forefinger
• Says "mamama" in my direction and "dadada" in Dr. C's direction and "byebyebyebye" while waving when it's time to go
• Can sign "baby"
• Is solidly in size 6-9 month clothes (although I put a newborn t-shirt/shorts outfit on her the other day, and it fit!  Apparently we still have some growing to do!)
• Still wears size 01 shoes
• Likes to play with toys and loves books
• Loves music and will dance whenever she hears it
• Has one tooth--with 3 more trying to come in
• Has everyone wrapped around her little finger

Happy Birthday Miss B! 

January Projects

I did complete my January projects--one sewing, one craft.  It was nice to get some things accomplished!  I already have my February craft project planned out, but I don't know what I'm going to sew, maybe another dress for Miss B, since the one I made is still too big, even after cutting it down twice. (That's what I get for measuring her while she is sleeping!)

I combined two different pillowcase dress tutorials from a room somewhere and from Freshly Picked to make the dress.

This is my simple craft project for this month--name letters for the boys' bedroom wall.  For all the blog stalkers out there, I had fun making different words out of their names.  Can you come up with anything else these letters would spell?

Now on to February's projects!

The journey of 26.2 miles begins with a single step (Take 2)

One of my New Year's Resolutions to run a marathon.  I started training for one in 2008, but I got a stress fracture after a half-marathon and then I was pregnant with Miss Banana and then life was too crazy to commit to a marathon.  I probably should have stuck with it--it would have been a nice stress reliever--but I didn't, so now it's time to try again!

I pulled out the treadmill tonight, pulled the year-and-a-half-old-brand new running shoes out of the closet (I got them right before my stress fracture) and did my first 3 miles of training. 

And it felt SOO good!  I can't wait to go outside for some nice road runs!

Running, my dear friend, I have missed you!!

New Year's Resolutions

I know we are already a few days into 2010, but the holidays (and my birthday!) are a bit crazy, so I never have time to sit and think about what I really want to accomplish the next year until a few days after the whole shebang calms down.  This year I have a lot of going back to the basics to do.  Last year I didn't even attempt to make New Year's Resolutions because there were so many unknowns--would Dr. C find a job?  Would Miss B be living?  How would T-Man and Fearless handle a big move? How would they handle a new sibling?  How would they handle starting school?  What would daily life be like after our child with Down syndrome is born?  It as really just too overwhelming (plus I was pregnant and hormonal!) so my goal for last year was just to survive.  Just ride out the waves and crawl to the finish line.  And that's pretty much what I did.

I'm done with that though--just surviving gets pretty boring after awhile and I feel the urge to move upward and have those Hallelujah! times and to THRIVE.  I've been thinking a lot lately about the things to do to feel happy--and I keep remembering a talk I heard by Dieter F. Uchtdorf called Happiness, Your Heritage.   I specifically like the part where he talks about our need to create, he says:

The desire to create is one of the deepest yearnings of the human soul. No matter our talents, education, backgrounds, or abilities, we each have an inherent wish to create something that did not exist before.
Everyone can create. You don’t need money, position, or influence in order to create something of substance or beauty.

You may think you don’t have talents, but that is a false assumption, for we all have talents and gifts, every one of us. The bounds of creativity extend far beyond the limits of a canvas or a sheet of paper and do not require a brush, a pen, or the keys of a piano. Creation means bringing into existence something that did not exist before—colorful gardens, harmonious homes, family memories, flowing laughter.

With that in mind, I wrote my list of New Year's Resolutions.  I'm sharing them with you all because I do much better with following through if I know other people are keeping tabs on me.  Someday I hope to have better internal motivation, but until then, ask me how I'm doing. :)  Some of them I have already been working on and I just need to tweak or be more consistent about, some of them I used to do but just couldn't over the past year, and some of them are totally new to me. 

Here they are, in no particular order:

• Read the scriptures every day
• Say personal morning and evening prayers every day
• Write in my journal at least once a week
• Run consistently again, complete a 1/2 marathon and a full marathon
• Go to bed by 10:30PM (this is probably going to be harder than finishing a marathon!)
• Be five minutes early for all appointments, meetings, church, etc. (also harder than a marathon!)
• Complete one sewing project per month (I finally got a sewing machine for my b-day and Christmas--I'll post on my new little love later!)
• Complete one craft project per month
• Write down one thing I love about my husband and one thing I am thankful for everyday
• Perform one act of service for someone else everyday
• Laugh more, scold less
  

I think they should all be attainable, but it is going to require work and effort on my part.  Wish me luck!

What about you?  What are your goals for 2010?  What are you going to do to make 2010 the best year ever?  Let me know and we can help keep each other motivated!

P.S. In the "create" mode, I'm also adding a new blog list of blogs that inspire me to create something--and that have instructions on how to do it.  Let me know your favorite blogs that inspire you to create so I can add them to the list!