Love

I know it's February and everyone has love on the brain.  And I guess I do too.  But not necessarily the sappy-Kay's-Jewelry-commercial type of love (although Dr. C does still make my heart race), but the deep down, life-changing, boundless love that I have for my family. 

After Dr. C and I got to unwind  last night(and catch the last of the Saints' big win), we went to check on the boys.  They'd pushed their beds together and then fallen asleep--apparently the 4 feet that normally seperates their beds was too far.  It was just a little sign that they love each other.

T-Man and Fearless take good care of Miss B.  They are the only ones that can get her to smile while eating vegetables.  When they play with her, she is enamored with them; she is completely ecstatic to be the center of their attention.  She loves them, and they love her.

As for how I feel about my family--Oh how I love them!  Dr. C and how hard he works for us and how he still does things around the house and never complains when I forgot to switch over the laundry.  And how he will do anything to make me happy--including taking me to The Big City on a random Saturday b/c I just really miss Target.  He is the.best.husband.ever. 

And T-Man with his amazing ability to understand and comprehend and communicate way beyond his little five years.  Sometimes, I forget that he was ever is still little. 

And Fearless with his endless energy and his surprising quirks and ability to make me laugh and keep me on my toes.  And how he always has a kiss and a hug for his mama (even when he's mad at me.) 

And Miss B--when I cuddle her, I'm intoxicated by the love I feel for her.  She has taught me more in her short 10 months of life than I could have ever learned without her.  She taught me that my love for my family is deeper than I even knew and just how blessed I am to have them.

So yes, love is in the air...but more importantly it is in my home, in my family and in my heart.

Wordless Wednesday: Exploring

January Projects

I did complete my January projects--one sewing, one craft.  It was nice to get some things accomplished!  I already have my February craft project planned out, but I don't know what I'm going to sew, maybe another dress for Miss B, since the one I made is still too big, even after cutting it down twice. (That's what I get for measuring her while she is sleeping!)

I combined two different pillowcase dress tutorials from a room somewhere and from Freshly Picked to make the dress.

This is my simple craft project for this month--name letters for the boys' bedroom wall.  For all the blog stalkers out there, I had fun making different words out of their names.  Can you come up with anything else these letters would spell?

Now on to February's projects!

The Exciting Conclusion to Mission: Impossible

In case you missed it, here are the highlights from last week's installment of Mission: Impossible--

• 2 sets of medical records needed to be faxed from NE to Dr. TennesseeHearts
• 10 phone calls
• One promise to send records made
• One refusal to send records made
• One voicemail saying that denied records were actually going to be sent to me

And now you're up to speed!

After all the phone calls, I remembered that Miss B's service coordinator from NE had sent us some of the hospital records, so I decided to take those with me, hoping they would be right.

Amazingly, some records from Children's Hospital that I didn't have were, in fact, delivered to my home on Monday.  Funny thing though, they also included someone else's registration for their insurance wellness program.  It kind of looks like whoever jotted down my new address on the back of these forms and just threw them all into the envelope by mistake.  Slightly ironic that I had to pull teeth to get MY OWN DAUGHTER'S records and yet I had to do nothing to get some random person's wellness information.  I'm sure the HIPAA people would love that.

I took the whole stack of records to Dr. TennHearts.  Once there, I asked to make sure that the records that Dr. Heart in NE promised to send were there.  And....a big fat NO on that one.  I'm not sure if they just never made it out of Dr. Heart's office or if they just stayed in Dr. TennHeart's home office instead of coming to The City with him...but either way, the ONE set of records that I was counting on being there, were gone.  I shouldn't have been surprised!

I finally hand the stack of records I had over to the nurse for them to make copies.  Dr. TennHearts flipped through the stack, picked out THREE PIECES OF PAPER to be copied, smiled and said, "that's all I need."

Are you kidding me?  I spent over 2-3 hours trying to track down all the papers and ensure that he had them all--and he only needed THREE papers that had been sitting on my bookshelf the whole time.  He should have at least given me a golden star for effort or something.

Three pieces of paper. 

That's it. 

Go Figure.

Mulling it over

I've been thinking a lot about the facebook exchange I posted yesterday, and now that I've had time to calm down--I have some more thoughts on the matter.

First of all, I am not proud of how I responded.  This teenager was rude, inconsiderate, and downright mean, and I got angry.  While I think that my comments were still in bounds, I need to work on not getting mad about this kind of ignorance, but just teaching in a loving, respectful way.  It seems counterproductive for me to want to teach the world about inclusion and acceptance if I get mad when people don't like the lesson. 

The hard part is that this issue revolves around MY BABY, and I don't want her to get hurt.  But unfortunately, getting hurt is part of life, and I need to learn to control my reaction so that my children can learn how to handle mean people in a kind way too.  This is going to be hard to do!  But I promised Miss Banana I would do whatever I could to make the world a better place for her and responding in kindness to the haters is part of that.

I appreciate everyone's reassuring comments and the encouragement to keep working towards the elimination of that word.  I am so grateful for all the good people in the world that make any effort to be more understanding, more considerate, more kind to those who are different from them.  To all of you who set a good example of love and kindness--THANK YOU!!!

So I still don't have thick skin

On Facebook, a teenager that I know used the r-word.  I probably should have let it go, but I promised Miss B that I would stick up for her, so I just had to say something.  While most people that I know have been kind and understanding about ending the use of the r-word, this young man didn't.  Here's the exchange: (I took out the names, the rest is verbatim)

Me: r*tard is a super offensive word, just as bad as the n-word. If you wouldn't use it, that would be great!
Teenager: Only r*tards are offended by the word r*tard

(At this point, I kind of snapped.  I shouldn't have, especially realizing the source, but I haven't developed a thick skin yet.)

Me: what a very insensitve, inconsiderate response. I thought higher of you than that.
Seeing how my daughter has Down syndrome and will be medically diagnosed with mental retardation, I find it highly offensive for you to use the word "r*tard" to refer to anything you don't like or that you think is stupid b/c really, you are making fun of my daughter and other people that have a similar diagnosis, and I'm not okay with that.

The way I see it, only people with low emotional IQs, would continue to use a word that someone has told them is offensive and has asked them nicely to stop. Because my daughter is unable to advocate for herself at this time, I will have to do it for her. Last time I checked, my IQ was well into the 140s, which doesn't really qualify me in the "mentally retarded" range....

If your earlier post was an attempt to try to defend your use of that word, please come up with a better response.

Teenager:  To be offended is a choice. It is a choice made by the person that has decided to take offense. And, according to one of the previous latter-day prophets, (I don't remember which one but I can find it if you REALLY CARE that much) taking offense to something is the result of a LACK of spiritual influence.
Me: Nice dodge, but still no good defense of the use of the r-word now that you know that it shouldn't be used.
Teenager: "dodge" ? What am I supposed to be dodging?

Trying to stop others from saying the word "r*tard" is like trying to tell someone to not say the word "tree" simply because you had a tree once that you liked and it died or something so if someone talks about trees you get sad. Sounds stupid huh? Maybe not, since you're doing it.

Also, there's no reason that I SHOULD be having to defend saying "r*tard". It's common english slang. Deal with it.

Me: Wow. Your lack of consideration for others is astounding. Unbelievable.
Teenager: Your lack of seeing this as something worthless to throw a fit over is also.

I am so furious right now, I am shaking.  Is this really what the teenagers of today think???  Does my daughter really have to grow up with people that have such a complete lack of compassion???  Someone reassure me that advocacy efforts will pay off and that the world will be a better place someday.

**Update: So he did go back and delete the "only r*tards are offended by the word r*tard" so maybe he eventully realized how extremely offensive that was?

Mission: Impossible

Your mission, should you chose to accept it, is to make sure Miss Banana's medical records from all the various doctors in Nebraska make it to the new Dr. TennesseeHearts.


Phone Call #1 to Dr. SouthernKids Office
I called Dr. SouthernKids' office this morning to find out more about Dr. TennHearts and to schedule the missed 9-month checkup.  We schedule the check-up for Feb. 1st, but Dr. SouthernKids' receptionist has no idea who Dr. TennHearts is and transfers me to the nurse's voicemail.  I leave a message and wait.

Fifeteen minutes later (faster then expected) the nurse calls:

Phone Call #2 from Dr. SouthernKids' Office
Nurse: You'll have to call the 1-800 number. 
Me: Ok, can you tell me where I need to go for the appointment?
Nurse: No.  Just that it's in The City.
Me: Ok, can I get the doctor's first name?
Nurse: I'm not sure what it is, you'll have to call the 1-800 number.
Me: Fine.

Hang up phone, set it down, feed Miss Banana two more bites of breakfast.

Phone Call #3 from Dr. SouthernKids's Office

Nurse: That might not be the right number, try this one instead.
Me: Oookkayy. (Praying that Dr. TennHearts actually exists and that the appointment I have been waiting 4 months for will actually occur and once again doubting the competancy of the medical staff here.)

Phone Call #4 to Dr. TennHearts:
Automated System--lists the names of cities that Dr. TennHearts visits--The City I was told to go to is not listed.  Great.

Push 1.  Push 5. Push 0.  Listen to elevator music and commercials about how wonderful Dr. TennHearts' hospital is.  Push 0 again.  Finally, a real person.

Me: Does Dr. TennHearts' have a clinic in The City?
Lady: um, I don't know, let me check (more elevator music)
Lady: How do you spell that?
Me: T-H-E-C-I-T-Y (panicking...Miss B REALLY REALLY needs to go back to a Heart Doctor, please let this appointment be real!)
Lady: One moment.  (more elevator music)

Lady: Yes.  Dr. TennHearts goes there once a month. (Relief!) You need to have Miss B's medical records sent to the home office so Dr. TennHearts will know all the medical history before the appointment.
Me: Which ones?
Lady: All of them.

Phone Call #5 to Dr. Heart in Nebraska
This was definately the best call of the morning--I said who I was, the receptionist remembered me, remembered Miss B and even remembered where we moved too.  I was impressed.  I gave her the fax number and other info, asked her to make a special note on the cover sheet about Miss B being seen in The City instead of the home office.  She said she would have it there within the half-hour.

I love the people in that office!

Phone Call #6 to Dr. HeartSurgeon in Nebraska

Me: I need Miss B's medical records sent to Dr. TennHearts.
Receptionist: You need to talk to the hospital, not our office.

Phone Call #7 to Children's Hospital
Me: I need Miss B's medical records sent to Dr. TennHearts
Receptionist: You need to talk to Dr. HeartSuregeon's office.
Me: I just did, they said to talk to you.
Receptionist: Well, they shouldn't have.  I guess I can send you what I have, but if you want it all,  you'll have to talk to Medical Records.

Phone Call #8 to Children's Hospital Medical Records
Me: I need Miss B's medical records sent to Dr. TennHearts.
Receptionist: I can't give you those.
Me: I don't want them; I want them sent to Dr. TennHearts.
Receptionist: The nurse has to call and request them, I can't send them just because you ask.  We keep those records private.
Me: (Losing patience) Um, they are MY daughter's records.  Can't I choose where they get sent?
Receptionist: No.  The doctor has request them.  
Me: FINE.

Phone Call #9 to Dr. TennHearts

Push 1. Push 5. Push 0. Listen to elevator music and commercials about how wonderful Dr. TennHearts' hospital is. Push 0 again. Finally, a real person.

Me: I need you to request the records, they won't send them simply because I ask.
Receptionist:  We can't make a request until we have all of your information.
Me: Ooookkay...(gives physical address, mailing address, insurance info, SSN, phone numbers, Dr. C's SSN, Dr. C's work #, Dr. C's work address (??? why do they need that??), Dr. HeartSurgeon's office and fax #'s, Dr. Heart's office and fax#'s, Children's Hospital office/fax #'s, etc.)
Receptionist: Okay, I'll leave a message for the nurse to take care of it.
Me: (Grateful.) Thank you.

At this point, after all the phone calls and hold music and run around, Miss B has been in her high chair eating breakfast for about an hour and fifeteen minutes.  I get her out, get the kiddos dressed and leave to run errands.

Phone Call #10 from Dr. TennHeart's Office, on voicemail
Nurse: I called Children's Hospital to request the records, but a receptionist named Bev said she has already printed them off and is mailing them to you, so they won't fax them since she has already printed them off.  So just bring those with you to the appointment next week and that should be fine.  Thanks!

What the Heck???  I have no idea who "Bev" is and why is she sending them to me after being told that I couldn't have them???   And I didn't give "Bev" our new address, which means that Miss B's records will be sent to our Nebraska address and then forwarded to us down here--so who knows if they will get here in time (or at all???) for the appointment next week.

So will Miss B's records be here or in The City next week?  Will I have to make another zillion phone calls and not actually accomplish anything?

Tune in next week for the exciting conclusion to Mission: Impossible.