The Other Side of the Card.

While I am currently focused on our upcoming move and in the thick of trying to keep my house clean for potential buyers (Side note: Anybody want to buy my house?  And: Please don't make me go through the work of getting/keeping my house ready to show if you aren't going to buy.  Just sayin'.) I am attempting to mix in at least a few of our annual Christmas traditions.

One of which is our annual Christmas card pictures.  I was happily getting the kids in their Christmas picture clothes, when our realtor called and told me some people were coming to look at our house in an hour and 15 min., and could we please be out by then?

At which point, Dr. C and I cranked the stress level up about 50 notches, threw the Christmas-pic clothes on the kids, buckled them all into the van, turned on Charlotte's Web and then frantically ran back inside to do some last-minute OCD arranging of the towels in the linen closet cleaning.

By the time we drove away, my once-happy-children had been imprisoned sitting in the van for almost an hour, Charlotte had long since died and that Norman-Rockwell-Christmas-picture ideal died with her.  (Note to self: Next time I put the kids in the van to frantically clean, choose a reeeaaaalllllly long movie.)

We went anyway.

I did get a *few* good ones...enough for the card...but I got a wholelotta bad ones.  Lovely.

Here is a sampling, for your viewing pleasure.  (Displeasure?)

Freed from the confines of the van, Fearless takes off the moment we get unbuckled.  Takes several minutes to bring him back. 

Don't be fooled by this cute pic--T-Man was pinching Fearless on the back.  Nice. 

T-Man: I will fake smile now because I know I'm in trouble for pinching.
Miss B: There is drama happening, so I must cry.
Fearless: "Mooooooommmmmy...T-Man PINCHED me!"

We are lucky to be alive after receiving that look.

Now it's T-Man's turn to run away.  Yay.

This cry was legitimate, fell down and scraped her knees.  So sorry, little love!

Miss B to T-Man: "Why the heck are you smiling?!?"



Another legitimate sad face...Fearless cut his hand a little on something and no amount of band-aids, kisses, reassurances would make it better.  On a positive note, T-Man shaped up after the pinching moment.



And now she's outta there.

The End.

Welcome Back to the Pinball-Machine-Life

After our crazy year with Miss B's diagnosis, Dr. C's PhD, Miss B's birth, Open Heart surgery and then our move down here to a state I'd never even visited before...I was in desperate need of a soft place to land.  We had been living the pinball-machine life and I craved feeling like I was settled into Home. 

The South has taken me in, showed me some amazing hospitality, soothed my soul, and treated me like family.  And while The Village can't provide all of the things the city-girl in me misses; The Village has given me respite from the weariness I felt when we arrived.

So when Dr. C applied for a job back in the midwest back in August and asked me if I was ready to move again, I told him I'd think about it if he got an offer.

When he asked again after the phone interview back in September, I said I'd let him know when I saw the offer letter in his hand.

And then after they flew him up there for in in-person interview in October; and I felt like a little kid sticking her fingers in her ears--na-na-na-I'm-not-listening!

And then the offer letter came two weeks ago.

And I had to seriously think about moving. 

AGAIN.

Our sixth move in 9 1/2 years of marriage.

As we thought about it and prayed about it...I was conflicted.  We have been digging in here...we have our friends-that-are-family, Dr. C loves his job here, I was finally making progress on a Down syndrome group, Miss B is in the most wonderful preschool and has amazing therapists, T-Man and Fearless are excelling in school. 

Most of all, how could we walk away from the people and the place that took care of us when we needed it most? 

It is times like this...the times when you have a choice between good and good...that praying and receiving answers to your prayers is the only way to move forward with confidance.  I didn't know what we should do--Should we uproot our family again for the unknown?  Should we stay and make The South our permanent home? 

After much prayer, apparently God wants us bounce back into the pinball-machine-life and we have decided that our time in The South is coming to an end--Dr. C starts his new job in Des Moines, Iowa on Dec. 5th.

I know this is the right decision, but it is with a heavy heart that I have been getting our first home ready to sell...ready to be enjoyed for years to come by some other family.  And while I'm excited to live closer to my sisters...I will deeply miss all of my Southern family here.

Even though The Village and The South aren't going to be our lifetime-Home, I will always look back on these two and half years with gratitude for the wonderful people that have made my family part of their family; for the place that was a balm to my frayed nerves as I began our new journey having a child with special needs; for teaching me that slowing down is a good way of life; for giving us that soft place to land.

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you.

The Third Year.

Three years ago yesterday, I got a phone call that would change our lives forever.  Three years ago yesterday, we got the results back from my quad screen test that indicated our little lady had Down syndrome.  A few weeks later, amniocentesis results in hand, the quad screen test results were confirmed.

Since then, October has become a "reflection" month for me.  A time to look back and evaluate how our lives have changed since that phone call.  A time of introspection.

On the day we found out, I felt devastated...and that word doesn't even begin to describe it.

A year later, I felt like I was on the offense--I joined several different Down syndrome advocacy groups and felt the fire to rid the world of the injustice toward people with Down syndrome.  When people would make comments about Miss B or about Down syndrome, I immediately became a mother bear, protecting my little one.

By year two, I was exhausted of being in constant "Down syndrome" mode.  And so I stepped back, and simply enjoyed my daughter and the blessing that she is...We didn't do all of the therapy-homework we were supposed to do.  I didn't read every news article about Down syndrome that came out.  I didn't talk about Down syndrome constantly.  We all just went about our daily lives.

And now, at year three--I am trying to find the balance of the two--being mother bear for people with Down syndrome when necessary, but living life just like any other family would.  As I've tried to find that balance--to walk the line of "same as everybody else, just different than most"--I have struggled.  How do I make a positive change in the world for people with Down syndrome without it consuming my life? 

The push to make the world a better place for my little Miss B has driven me to start a Down syndrome group here in The Village and surrounding towns.  As the President of this new group, I feel enthusiastic and optimistic that we can make a difference.  And I'm excited that, in our little corner of the world, I am promoting inclusion and acceptance of my little lady.  However, despite my enthusiasm, I worry about my life becoming engulfed by all things Down syndrome.  While I want Miss B to have every opportunity to have the good life; I think that part of having "the good life" means that we shouldn't always live in "special needs land" and that we need to be a family first--a regular ol' family--and a "family touched by Down syndrome" second.

At the same time, I have guilt that I haven't done enough for Miss B.  Like the other day when a friend used the R-word and I just let it go without saying anything...I felt like I was letting Miss B down.  Or when I read about all of the different therapies and reading programs and equipment and toys and foods and vitamins and experiences that are recommended for people with Down syndrome--and I know that we are only doing a small fraction of what we could be doing--I lay awake at night worrying that we are failing her.

And so three years later, I have come to the conclusion that there will always be struggles in life--things that make you worry and times when you have to push forward or pull back--and that is okay.  And I've realized that I feel so blessed to have these struggles.  I feel infinitely grateful for the growth and change and learning that takes place as we find our footing on this path in life.  I feel blessed to wake up each morning to my thoughtful husband and three beautiful children.  I feel grateful for the change that Down syndrome has brought into our lives.

And while we don't have it all figured out yet...there is no hurry, we will get there someday.

While our life is not perfect...it is good.

Summer Travel Journal Part 6: Around the Cabin

I will get to all the Down syndrome related posts in honor of October, but my goal was to finish my Summer Travel Journal...if only because this blog also serves as our family scrapbook of sorts, and I would like our fun trip to all be here.  Please refer to Summer Travel Journal Part 1 where I warned you that my travel journal might be the modern version of the 80s horror of someone inviting you over to dinner and then forcing you to watch hours of slides from their recent vacation; only without the free dinner part.

And so I continue my epic travel journal series with some this-and-that from around the cabin.  And this time I'll let the pictures mostly speak for themselves.
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Hot Dog Roast. 

What good camping trip with kids doesn't include a hot dog roast? 

Miss B loved the fire, the camp chairs, the mountain air...but hot dogs?  Not so much.  She'd rather starve herself than eat them.  Add hot dogs to the long list of foods Miss B finds completely revolting.  Aren't hot dogs supposed to be a standard kid food??  Maybe she just knows how bad they are for you.  Not sure why that knowledge doesn't extend to her love of Cheetos...

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Cousins

Connecting with the cousins was the only item on my kids' agenda for the week.  The boys were busy poking at ant hills, building rock and stick villages, swinging in the hammock, etc.  While I don't put many pics of my nieces and nephews on the blog (their parents should get to decide if they want pictures of their kids online); my kids had a blast.  I'm pretty sure they would have been more than happy to go home with one of my sisters' families.

Miss B and her cousin wearing reverse outfits one day.  Totally unplanned.

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Crafts

The backporch of the cabin was like a mini-HobbyLobby with project room.  There were enough crafting supplies back there to provide Martha Stewart's whole staff a month's worth of projects.  Despite the kids spending hours back there everyday, I think we used 1/3596842 of it.

Rock painting.

The best trivet for your hot pans you could possibly want.  Fearless made this one and we proudly use it just about every night.

Miss B's final product.  Jackson Pollock would be proud.

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Family Pictures

This was the best picture we got of our family.  Yeah, probably not going over the fireplace.

My sisters and I had fun taking "engagement" pictures of each other.  Sadly, we look much older in this picture than we did in our actual engagement pics...but that's what 9 years and 3 kids and graduate school will do to you.

P.S. I did spare you of the picture they took of Dr. C grabbing my bum.

Ever tried to take a picture with 19 kids in it?  Fun stuff.

Love my family!

Summer Travel Journal Part 5: The Egg Drop

My family likes to keep things entertaining when we all get together. 

For instance, while I was growing up, my parents had to figure out a way to keep us all occupied in that lull of vacation-laziness between Christmas and New Year's.  When we got to the point where everyone had been on break long enough to feel relaxed...and we were all starting to get a bit ansty to do something...and when the sugar buzz from all the homemade caramels and cookies was turning more into diabetic shock, my parents would buy some giant bags of rubber bands from Sam's Club, take us all to the church gym, and we'd have a giant rubber band shooting war.  The only rule? Don't shoot anyone in the face.  Other than that, it was a free-for-all to release excessive pent up energy.  And after a couple of rounds of shooting family members with rubber bands as hard and as often as I could while fending off their attacks on me, life was good and we were all ready to go back home and put together some Christmas-gift puzzles.  Good times. 

(Side note: If you ever try this activity, I would suggest wearing long sleeves and pants.  Just sayin'.)

I think most families go see a movie or something?

Anywho, my point is, my family likes to mix it up in the entertainment area.  Our family reunion was no exception.  About a month before the reunion, my mom told us all to prepare for an Egg Drop--the kind of activity you did in 5th grade where you try to package your raw egg in such a way that when it's dropped off the roof of the school, it won't break.  (If I remember right, my egg in 5th grade did break.  Bummer.)  While my siblings all paid attention to this email...I think I was buried up to my elbows in homemade paper mache and promptly forgot about it.

It all worked out okay in the end though, since I had been pinata-making instead of planning our egg's protection, we just used the broken halves of the pinata to package the egg. 

How's that for being resourceful?

Most of the family--waiting for the excitement to start!

Woohoo!  Not a single crack!

The rest my family did just as well and not one egg broke.  I'm pretty sure that means we hold the World Record for "Least Number of Eggs Broken During An Egg Drop Contest At A Family Reunion". 

(Cue music: We are the champions...we are the champions...no time for losers 'cause we are the champions...of the world)

I think we might have to add "Egg Drop" to our permanent family entertainment list.  Oh, and we'll be stocking up on rubber bands too.

Summer Travel Journal Part 4: Gone Fishin' Party

Once again, we are flashing back to our Summer Travel Journal.  We spent the last week of our vacation at a family reunion with my family in the Uinta Mountains--a simply gorgeous part of our country.  My whole family, minus one brother, was there...making a nice round number of 30 people in one cabin.  It's a good thing we love each other!

The cabin we stayed in was pretty much waaaaaaaay out there...as in, no cell phone or Internet service.  As in, so far out there that there were real cowboys (shepherds?) riding their horses and herding their flock of sheep across the highway.  Nothing like starting a nice family reunion almost being slowly stampeded by sheep.  The cowboy-shepherd guy kept telling us to just keep driving...but dude, who wants to run over a herd of sheep?!?

Baaa.

A couple of miles later, this deer was running along the road, right next to the van.  After a good race, it decided to stop and pose for a picture.  (Sorry for poor picture quality, I was took it through the window.)

The sunset view from the cabin porch.  Simply beautiful.

We started our week with a Gone Fishin' party.  Each family decorated a tackle box--and then filled it with yummy snacks like Swedish Fish and gummy worms.

Miss B picking out stickers for our family's tackle box.

I made this fishing-bobber-pinata for the party...and let me tell you the homemade paper mache process was a whole heckuva lot of work. 

If I ever decide to make a pinata again, please, somebody stop me. 

Despite the project being much longer than I expected,  I was pretty proud of the fact that it lasted through 18 of the 19 grandchildren hitting it.

All that was left after my hours and hours of labor.  Next time, I think I'll just buy one.

My mom did a cute carnival-style fishing game--where every grandchild got to fish for a prize.  My dad was in charge of the child-with-the-fish-hook side of the pond...which was a very brave thing for him to do.  I'm happy to report that not one person's eye was lost.  (But we did have some close calls.)

My cute nieces made these fun fish-cupcakes for everyone to enjoy.  I don't get to see my sisters and brothers and their families very often; so that evening in the crowded kitchen while we were making dinner for 30 and the girls were cupcake-decorating away and the laughter and chatter was constant...even though we were miles away from a decent-sized civilization and many, many more miles away from my house, it felt like home.

More to come...my goal is to finish our Summer Travel Journal by the middle of next week...we'll see if I make it!

Fall Means Football!!

Fearless took this picture.  Not bad, eh?

I don't know when it happened...must have been sometime during college and Dr. C's graduate school, but I have come to love football.  When Fall rolls around and the leaves start changing and the mornings have that crisp-chill feeling...I find myself paying attention to Dr. C's reports from ESPN.  Maybe part of it has to do with the thrill of Game Day...the throngs of people, the roar of cheers and applause that follow a big play, the camaraderie with random strangers all united in supporting their team...it all adds up to happiness in a big football-shaped package.

Although Fall is just barely upon us, we have been partaking of the Football-frenzy for the past few weeks.  We started the season by watching our Alma mater--Brigham Young University--beat Ole Miss.

Fearless found some random sand/dirt to entertain him during the pregame tailgating. 

Um, yeah, they were dirty before the game even started.  Dirty, but happy!

Nice funny faces, kiddos.  I bet you both are going to love this picture when you are older.

WooHoo!!  GO COUGARS!!!!

BYU was doing well in all the stats except scoring until the 4th Quarter...when BYU scored twice within a couple of minutes to win the game.

I'm pretty sure the Ole Miss fans were fairly disappointed...you could practically feel the enthusiasm for the game drain out of the stadium with BYU's second touchdown.  Except in the BYU section, where the crowd went wild.  I love when my team wins!!

Check out THAT final score, baby!  BYU by 1!  Holla!!

T-Man is starting to love the game as well--this fall he decided to skip playing soccer and play flag football instead.  I must admit these games are pretty funny to watch.  It's a whole lot of kids running around essentially clueless about what they are supposed to do.  T-Man's team did manage to score once in their first game though--at which time the sideline erupted in wild cheering.  



"What am I supposed to do?!?"

 

And our most recent football excursion occurred last night where, after scoring some free tickets, we went to the Mississippi State vs. Louisiana Tech game. 

Miss B is all about football--or at least all about yelling and cheering when everyone else does!

Our seats were in the third row, all the way in the end zone.  So that last play, during overtime, when MSU scored a touchdown to win the game?  Yeah, that happened 30 feet in front of us.  I'm pretty sure you could see our feet on the JumboTron when we jumped up to cheer.  LOVED IT!

Thank you JoAnn for tickets for Dr. C, T-Man, Fearless and I.  Thank you Paul for the ticket for Miss B so we could all enjoy the game together.  It was SO much fun.



And we've still got more of football season to go!  Holla!!