Fearless goes to a preschool that is funded by some federal grant. As some part of the whole grant program, the parents of the kids have to attend parenting classes (only 6 hours during the whole school year, so not too bad.) This morning was my first class, and I have to admit that I was grumbling about going. Thursdays are supposed to be my lazy days where I can relax a little, play with the kiddos, read a book, etc. so to have to get up and get ready right away was not welcome. Plus, I am a parenting book junkie...I seriously have several shelves devoted to parenting on my bookcase. Do I really have to go to the class too??
With that attitude, I showed up, expecting...nothing really. Just two hours of blah, blah, blah. I was surprised when I received some little gems instead. Just little things that let me know that God knows me and takes care of me and reminds me of His love and what He wants me to do when I least expect it.
The first came when another mom in the class was watching Miss B play. After a little bit, she asked, "How old is she?" When I replied six months, she said, "Really? Only six months? She's so smart!" I beamed. "I know, isn't she great??" (In retrospect, I really shouldn't care what other people say, but sometimes it's nice for external validation!) The class was already starting to look up.
The next gem came when the instructor was talking about the difference between surviving and thriving as a parent and child. I have been thinking about this a lot lately...for the past six months, I feel like we have been simply surviving. Just making it through. But I don't want to just survive, I want to thrive. Why settle for fine when life can be Amazing? The instructor put it well when she said (in her very Southern accent) "Motherhood (and I would add being a wife too) should be your "Hallelujah! time". How right she is. I think it was another nudge from my Heavenly Father that it's time to move past survival mode and move into HALLELUJAH! mode. Isn't that how life is supposed to be?
The last gem was probably the most unexpected. I was sitting next to another mom who had her baby in her lap. Her little girl was sitting well and just looked...I don't know...sturdier? than Miss B. I felt a few little pangs, wishing that Miss B was a little more solid. (Unimportant, I know, but sometimes when it's blatently obvious that kids that are younger than her have more advanced physical skills, it stings a little.) After the class was over, we chatted a bit about our babies...who are exactly two months apart. Another pang came. As if trying to justify why my baby was smaller, I told this mom about Miss B's heart surgery at 2 1/2 months. Come to find out, her oldest son had had open heart surgery when he was 1 week old (he had transposition of the greater arteries.) and could totally relate to the stress and worry and fear that I feel/felt. Instantly, I had a new friend. A few minutes earlier I had passed this lady off because her baby was sitting better than mine. Silly, isn't it? I thought of a line from one of my favorite hymns:
Who am I to judge another when I walk imperfectly?
In the quiet heart is hidden sorrow that the eye can't see.
It was reminder that we all have things than make our hearts hurt and that we when we reach out and connect with others, our lives are better.
I needed those little gems today.
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