I'll get back to our Spring Break Recap sometime soon (you all really do have to see the cute shirts/dresses that my sister and I made for our kiddos...and now I know how to applique! woot!)
But I have to admit that I've been having some what of a pity-party for myself. It's those darn comparisons that do it--and no, I have not been comparing Miss B to anyone--I've actually been comparing ME to other moms. And not just your typical mom...other moms whose kids have Down syndrome too. And whenever I compare, I always come up short in the "doing it right" category. Or in the "I wish I was doing that" category or the "how come I don't have that?" category. And I look at my life and think "why does it have to be hard??" Ugh. All the comparisons put me on the 5 o'clock Express Train to Pity-Party Central.
And honestly, Pity-Party Central stinks. It's a miserable, lonely place.
As I read other people's blogs...I have been completely jealous of the playgroups and support groups that other people have--while I don't even have ONE friend that has a child with special needs...(although Addy is working on it!!) and I KNOW that there HAS TO BE other kids with Down syndrome around here...somewhere. Miss B's various therapist have mentioned 2 kiddos that are just about Miss B's age...and I have given the therapists my info to give to those moms, but no response. Maybe they don't need a friend as much as I do??
And then the other night on the soccer fields, I saw a little boy, about 7 or 8, that had Down syndrome...but he wasn't anywhere near any adults--and I thought he might think it was a little strange for some random lady to start talking to him...plus Fearless was about to wet his pants, so we just kept walking. And so the pity party continued...
And then I went to that reception for World Down Syndrome Day that our nearest support group put on--a group that is centered in a town that is over an hour away from us. All the people there live in The City. And we live in The Village. So while everyone else was talking about their latest playgroup or comparing notes on different therapists...they would occasionally ask us where we are from. Or how old our daughter is. You know, the polite-get-to-know-you questions that everyone asks. The same questions the same people asked us last time we went to an event. In other words, they don't know us and when they only see us once every 4 or 5 months, they aren't going to get to know us. It stinks to not even fit in with people who know!
I hate Pity-Party Central. It doesn't flow with my general disposition. I LIKE to be happy. And happiness is a choice. No one, but me, can decide if I am going to be happy or not.
So it's time to take a trip to The Land of Thinking Big. The place where if I don't like what is happening (or not happening) in my life...I change it. The place where I get up and grow up and DO something about it.
So wish me luck as I try to start a support group in our Village and the two other villages around us. I don't know what this will entail, but I refuse to accept the fact that I am the only mom around here that needs other moms in The Club. No longer will I allow myself to feel isolated and sorry for myself that there is not a local support group here. No longer will I bemoan the fact that life is hard.
Because I can do hard things.
Goodbye Pity-Party Central, I won't be visiting again.
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