Growing Up

The little ones in my life finished their school year a few days ago.   They started the school year thinking they would be in the South for who-knows-how-long...and finished the year in the Midwest. 

They grew and changed and embraced change and made me one proud momma.

T-Man took the changes in stride.  He smoothly transitioned from one climate and culture into the next.  He is a helper, a leader, a reader, and radiates positivity.  Ironically, his name means "long-winded talker" and "cheerful".  Both of those meanings fit our little T-Man perfectly.  And I love him to pieces for both of those qualities.

Fearless had the hardest time with the changes--he is one that loves the routine and anticipating what is coming next.  Moving and starting over with new school rules, new friends, new climate...it took awhile for him to adjust.  But being the little rock star he is, he realized he was having a hard time and every night he would pray that he would be happy.  And each day he tried hard to choose to be happy. 

That attitude is pretty grown-up for a five year old.  I'm so proud of him for pushing himself to grow and embrace the change. 

And this little lovey?  She's still my doll-baby; but she's grown-up too.  She loves her independence and is communicating what she needs and wants like a champ.  And although we lovingly refer to her as our little F5 Tornado (or just F5 for short) I love her curiosity and her sense of adventure.  I love hearing about what is going on in her mind. I love learning what is important to her, so it can be important to me too. 

Having them all home everyday means that our home is full of ruckus & chaos at any given moment--and surprisingly, it doesn't bother me.  Just having them close and deepening our relationship is worth all the noise and Lego messes.

Yay for 3 months of uninterrupted time for me to spend with my little ones!!

Bring on summer!!

Partially Empty Nest

Whenever my kids reach a new milestone, I always start thinking about the related milestone that will happen later on.  Like when T-Man first took off riding his bike around the corner without me holding on or even being able to see him--I was proud as punch but my mind's eye flicked ahead to the first time he will pull the car out of the driveway, new license in hand, and drive away on his first solo adventure.  That little bike ride is a major step for him and is a preparation for the future for me.  We both grow a little in that moment.

Today was one of those days.  With Fearless starting Kindergarten and T-Man heading into 2nd Grade, we've reached a milestone.

As Dr. C drove them away this morning and Fearless stuck his head out the window with one last, "I love you, Mom!" My mind's eye flashed forward to years down the road when they would be heading off to college and a majority of what goes on in their lives will occur without me.

Miss B and I missed them almost instantly.  Miss B felt the need to make extra amounts of trouble (I'm assuming to try to fill in for her brothers while they were away) and the need to attach herself to my leg, hip, arm--whatever she could grab at the moment.   And, while it was nice to only have one munchkin to control at the grocery store, when we got back home for lunch and nap time, the house seemed eerily quiet.  Is  this what having an "Empty Nest" will be like?

 Even though my mind pushes me forward to prepare for that first-day-of-college moment, my heart is grateful for today; when, at 3:05, my little men and our carpool friend hopped into the van, their happy chatter filling and replacing any nervousness and sadness I had about them being gone.  Miss B was all smiles and the balance of life in our world was restored.

We all grew a little on this First-Day-of-School Happy/Sad Day.

P.S. Miss B starts preschool in a few weeks; then I will have a few hours to myself.  I wonder what that will be like?!?

P.P.S. I would guess that by next week, I will be relishing the time that I have to get things done while the kids are at school...and enjoying the time that I have with them as much as ever.

Graduation: Cue "End of an Era" Tears.

Ok, I'll admit it.

Since having kids, I've turned into a sentimental gusher.

(Whew, there. I said it.  Admittance is the first step on the road to recovery, right?)

Don't you love the flip-flops?? 
Wearing sandals just about all the time to just about every event is one of my favorite perks of living in The South!

It's predictable and cliche, but when my middle child, who is about to turn 5, got all dressed up in his cap and gown for preschool graduation, I busted out with the teary, "When did he get so big?" and "It goes by so fast!" statements that the pre-children version of myself would have found ridiculous.

Whoever came up with the graduation-clothing get up designed it with a some sort of psychological guarantee that mothers would cry when their children are wearing it.

 
And what end-of-an-era ceremony is complete without some Pomp & Circumstance?  I have a love/hate relationship with that inescapable graduation music that flashes me back to my own various graduations and at the same time, flashes me prematurely forward to my childrens' high school and college graduations.  It forces me to review the past and to see the future that I'm not ready for yet. 

Can't I just keep them little?!?

 (P.S. If I'm ever in charge of a graduation planning...they're all marching in to Darth Vader's music. And then, to help speed things up, Flight of the Bumblebee. Just sayin'.)

Despite my sentimentality, Fearless was quite the proud preschool graduate. 

His little sponge-brain has soaked in all it can from Miss Daisy's class, and he is ready for Kindergarten.

Congrats, my little love!

{cue tears}

Fearless with Miss Daisy

Sometimes I Really Just Want to Play Ostrich

Wouldn't it be nice sometimes to stick your head in the sand and just be oblivious to whatever happens around you? 

Photo from http://www.ostrichheadinsand.com/ (Side Note--National Geographic says that ostriches putting their head in the sand is a myth, but for the point of this post, let's just say this picture--and the myth--is real)


I've been feeling that way a bit lately.

We went to the kindergarten open house for Fearless last night and picked up his kindergarten registration packet.  A few weeks ago, we went to a meeting put on by the nearest Down syndrome support group about Miss Banana making the transition from Early Intervention to the school system.  While both events were informative and beneficial, at some points I had to fight the urge to cover my ears with my hands and do the juvenile "la-la-la-I'm-not-listening!" chant.

Fearless starts kindergarten in August. 

Miss B's first transition meeting with the school is in four months.

My babies are growing up.

And with that--they have to go experience new things.  And some of those things strike fear in my heart.

Will Fearless pay attention?  Will his teacher quickly learn how to handle my little wildcard?  Will he make good friends and be a good friend?  Will he get good grades?  Will he be happy?

Will Miss B be able to communicate to me what happens at school?  Will the other kids be kind to her?  Will she get a good education?  Will I know when to compromise and when to take a stand?  Will she make friends and be a good friend?

All the questions just swirl around in my head along with the fear that we will get some scrapes and bruises along the way as we move forward.

The emotional part of me just wants my kids to stay little and at home and safe with me.  Part of me just wants to stick my head in the sand and ignore filling out those registration forms or taking classes on how to write a good IEP. 

At the same time, the logical side of me is bustin' its rear-end trying to learn all I can about the Special Education laws so that Miss B gets the best education possible.  And part of me is working with Fearless on sitting criss-cross-applesauce, saying the requisite "yes ma'am" and learning how to open his own cheese stick wrappers.

Change is coming.  And if I want the best for my children, I have to be a grown-up and prepare and meet the new challenges face-to-face.

(But it still would be nice to just play ostrich.)

The Reunion

After high school graduation, I left my hometown of St. Louis and headed out West to BYU for college.  And other than some holidays and a few summer vacations, I haven't really been back.  The last time I saw someone from high school was at a wedding six or seven years ago.

We had our ten year reunion on Saturday night.  (Yes, I'm from the Class of 2000--I debated about blogging about this or not...but so much has been written and studied about our class...I thought I might as well throw my two cents into the mix!)

It was interesting.

I really didn't know what to expect.  I wasn't really nervous...more just curious about the real-life science experiment about to play out...the one where I walk into some strange paradigm and my previous life and my current life collide with unexpected results. I have changed so much in the years since high school...what about everyone else? 

As I was getting ready, Dr. C (who is the best husband in the world) gave me these words: if you have a great time, then fabulous.  And if not, then remember that you have a husband and three great kids at home that love you. 

And you know, it was weird and good--at the same time.  There were people I recognized immediately.  People that I recognized, but didn't remember their names.  And people that I wondered if they actually went to my school or if they just snuck in to get some free food...and then later figured out that I had sat next to them at lunch daily during those tumultous teenage years.  Thank heaven for nametags.

And I've decided that people do change.  And that people don't change.  And the people that mattered to me then, still matter to me now.  And the people that didn't, still don't.

It was fun remembering some of the crazy-growing-up-years antics...like the time in 7th grade when I got caught passing a note to a friend...and the note said I hoped my teacher's bum grew together...and of course that teacher is the one that intercepted the note...I think it's even funnier now then it was in 7th grade...and it was pretty darn funny then.

And then talking to some other people and just finding out that they are good and happy and that life has been kind to them...was just...comforting.  An affirmation that life is good.

My biggest take-home lesson of the whole thing is that I am totally happy with where I am and who I've become.  Don't get me wrong, I know I still have many, many things to improve on, but I am comfortable with me.  I am a wife and a mother.  My family is my life's great masterpiece.

The evening was like finding a favorite childhood blanket after many years...there are parts that are worn out and not so pretty--just like you left it years ago...and parts that you remember tracing your finger over and over when you needed comfort...and as a whole--the good and the bad, it still warms you and makes you feel good. 

Me with E.Lee--Girl, it had been too long.  Love you!

My First-Grader

Today was T-Man's first day of first grade.  And in some ways, I think it was a little harder than his first day of kindergarten.  At least with the first day of kindergarten, I expected it to be hard...but I hadn't really prepared myself to have a first grader. 

And yet, here he is.

Isn't he just the cutest first grader you've ever seen??  Love this kid.

In fact, I love this kid so much, that I spent two hours (?!?!!) waiting in line in the carpool lane to pick him up today.  During those two hours, I also witnessed a car accident with some wild carpool-lane-road-rage smackdown.  Also during those two hours, Fearless wet his pants (after holding it for 30 min.) and you really can't expect a four year old to hold it for two hours.

T-Man, I hope you know we love you.