Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Life is a Miracle.

This morning I woke, stretched luxuriously across my bed, and then realized what day it is:

September 25, 2013.

I checked the clock:  6:30AM.

I instantly flashed back to that date and time one year ago when I was lying on a hospital bed, telling the nurse that Dr. Brains might as well just shave my whole head, and making small talk with Dr. C and my parents while we waited for the orderly to wheel me away to the operating room.

As I laid in bed, remembering those moments...I kept circling back to one thought:

Life is a MIRACLE.

I am reminded of this every time I brush my hair in the morning and feel the clydesdale-sized-horseshoe-shaped scar that runs across my head--a reminder that my chance at this life could have been over, or very dramatically altered. Instead, I emerged relatively unscathed with only short hair, a scar, and the loss of feeling in my left leg. But who cares?  

I'm alive.

I am reminded that life is a miracle every time I listen to T-Man--who recently turned NINE years old (!!!I have been a mother for NINE years!!!)--explain his new idea. His mind is constantly working on a new way to improve the world and is full of enthusiasm and optimism for a bright future. He sees a problem, tackles it from all sides, examines the possibilities and solutions. Then, he emerges triumphant, full of confidence that his solution will, in fact, change the world as we now know it.

I am reminded that life is a miracle every time I watch Fearless perform acrobatics on the swing set. He prefaces each new daring act with "Mom! Watch what I can do!" Then flips his body in ways that make my heart stop. Somehow (so far!) he always lands on his feet, grinning from ear to ear--fascinated and amazed at the many ways he can make his body do what he wants it to do.

I am reminded that life is a miracle every time I help Miss Banana get dressed and I see the 5-inch long scar zippered down her chest--more of a badge of honor, really--that signifies her battle to continue living her daring adventure. It serves as a constant caution to never forget that several times we've come this close to living our lives without her.

And today,  I was also reminded that life is a miracle as I got to take a good long look at Baby #4...the little one that is squishing my insides and melting my heart with each kick of her little feet. Dr. Babies here in our new state thought it would be good for my peace of mind if we did a Level II ultrasound to really check her out and make sure there were no foreseeable surprises. Somehow, by a tender mercy, the appointment was scheduled for today--the one year anniversary of my new chance on life.

As we looked her over...and saw  that she has hair and that she can open and close her tiny little fists and that her heart has four chambers...the tears rolled down my cheeks at the sight of this new little life just waiting for her chance to have a daring adventure. If this day a year ago had gone differently, I would have missed out on an opportunity to see what she will make of it.

Life is a miracle.


Kim said...

YOU are a miracle, Carrie. And a sweet, dear friend. Someday I will hug you in person. Love ya!!

Jeannetta said...

Oh Carrie; you make my heart swell. Someday I too will hug you in person and it will be all the hugs I've not been able to give you, all rolled into one.
What a blessing you are to others <3

Amy said...

Wow. I can't believe its been a year. I'm so glad things worked out the way they did for you. Miss and love you!

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