Since Thursday, life has been surreal. It feels like this whole brain tumor thing is just some sort of horrible hoax and that I'll wake up and Dr. C will hold me and tell me I just had a bad dream.
And then yesterday we met with Dr. Brain again--this time Dr. C was with me--and we set a date for surgery:
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
And things got real.
A man that I have met twice is going to cut open my head, remove a large tumor off my brain, and stitch me back up.
And there are risks.
Lots of risks.
There are a zillion different possibilities of what could happen during and after surgery. So many different possibilities that I can't even allow myself to think of them all.
And so I'm fixated on the one concrete outcome that I know of:
I am going to be bald.
Not like Mr.-Clean-bald, but more like Demi-Moore-G.I. Jane-meets-Frankenstein-bald.
The no-hair issue sounds completely superficial for me to worry about; and trust me, I know that it is, but it is the one thing I can do something about now. The only thing I can mentally prepare myself for right now without becoming certifiably crazy.
So last night, my adorable neighbor, who happens to be a cosmetologist, cut my hair to help me prepare for my upcoming G.I. Jane/Frankenstein-hood.
Dr. C and Me on the beach in July. We're kinda squinty in this pic, but you can see that my hair was short, but not THAT short. |
And now....
It's a pixie cut--which is basically the feminine way to describe your standard boy haircut.
In other words, it's SHORT.
Maybe bald won't be so bad?
18 comments:
I think it looks great! I'll be praying for you over here. You got this!
Oh, goodness, I've missed *all* of your past posts about your medical issues - I'm so sorry you're going through this. But let me just tell you this, that haircut looks ah-maaay-zing, and you're going to look fantastic without hair! And just remember, it grows back. (((hugs)))
I'm a frequent lurker and just wanted to say that you and your family are in my prayers.
So once you're post GI Jane cut and your hair has grown back, I think you need to seriously consider the pixie cut as a permanent new do. It is darling on you! So is the color.
You are so cute with your hair like that! You are one amazing woman!
I think this is a cut you should stick with! It looks awesome. Can you have someone post on FB under your account so we know how surgery went? I'm going to be on pins and needles waiting for an update.
The Pixie has never looked better, and you will look gorgeous with the Demi Moore look! You are in the forefront of our prayers here in Graceland, and we just are in AWE of your strength. Keep breathing, God' got you! xo
Hi there, I know I don't comment much but do follow along and wanted to let you know I will be praying for you. And, I also wanted to tell you what a beautiful face you have, if anyone has to be bald...girl...you are going to rock the look!
You can do it....and you did......and you are rocking the pixie!!!!! Prayers for you and your family!
Hi Carrie,
My name is Diane Kaut and I have a son Tyler who is 13 and has DS. I'm SO sorry to hear what you're going through and just wanted to let you know that I and my family will be praying for you. Hang in there. (FYI - The Rachel in the gmail acct is my daughter. Wasn't sure if I could use diff email.)
Oh my goodness! I am so sorry all this is happening and you are in my prayers! Your hair looks fantastic btw and you're going to pull through this. Please keep us updated!
I am so sorry to hear this and will be praying for you! Let me know if you need anything at all!
You look absolutely divine with your new locks! Now I'm NOT going to pull out my old pol.academy pictures because I was going for solidarity w/the awkwardly short hair but YOU look smashing. Not many can pull off pixie.
Love the crop cut! Very collegiate! You look sooo young! :)
Carrie, you are one of the strongest women I have known. I know you and your sweet family will be watched over. Good luck Tuesday and I'll be thinking and praying for you!
First, LOVE your hair. I've been debating about doing that with mine. Second, crying a few tears of "life isn't fair"ness over here for you! Huge prayers for you and your family.
comment above was from me - forgot to sign in ;)
Your hair cut is so cute! You'll be in my prayers. You won't be alone...
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