Friday, March 4, 2011

Sometimes I Really Just Want to Play Ostrich

Wouldn't it be nice sometimes to stick your head in the sand and just be oblivious to whatever happens around you? 

Photo from (Side Note--National Geographic says that ostriches putting their head in the sand is a myth, but for the point of this post, let's just say this picture--and the myth--is real)

I've been feeling that way a bit lately.

We went to the kindergarten open house for Fearless last night and picked up his kindergarten registration packet.  A few weeks ago, we went to a meeting put on by the nearest Down syndrome support group about Miss Banana making the transition from Early Intervention to the school system.  While both events were informative and beneficial, at some points I had to fight the urge to cover my ears with my hands and do the juvenile "la-la-la-I'm-not-listening!" chant.

Fearless starts kindergarten in August. 

Miss B's first transition meeting with the school is in four months.

My babies are growing up.

And with that--they have to go experience new things.  And some of those things strike fear in my heart.

Will Fearless pay attention?  Will his teacher quickly learn how to handle my little wildcard?  Will he make good friends and be a good friend?  Will he get good grades?  Will he be happy?

Will Miss B be able to communicate to me what happens at school?  Will the other kids be kind to her?  Will she get a good education?  Will I know when to compromise and when to take a stand?  Will she make friends and be a good friend?

All the questions just swirl around in my head along with the fear that we will get some scrapes and bruises along the way as we move forward.

The emotional part of me just wants my kids to stay little and at home and safe with me.  Part of me just wants to stick my head in the sand and ignore filling out those registration forms or taking classes on how to write a good IEP. 

At the same time, the logical side of me is bustin' its rear-end trying to learn all I can about the Special Education laws so that Miss B gets the best education possible.  And part of me is working with Fearless on sitting criss-cross-applesauce, saying the requisite "yes ma'am" and learning how to open his own cheese stick wrappers.

Change is coming.  And if I want the best for my children, I have to be a grown-up and prepare and meet the new challenges face-to-face.

(But it still would be nice to just play ostrich.)

2 comments: said...

I kind of laugh at Fearless saying "Yes Ma'am!" Man, he is really looking like Dr. C. I remember the 2 year-old Fearless and walking him down to the construction site behind my house to "teach" him about construction equipment! I can't believe he's old enough for school! They'll be fine, they are your kids, they'll be fine!

Amy said...

You are such a good mom, Carrie! What happens inside your home is most important, and I know that will be a strength to them wherever they go--and all of the negative things that might occur outside your home's walls will dissipate in your loving home. You can totally take a stand though, and make a difference in these places that they'll be going off to! I can see you doing that--you'll be awesome!

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